"Use Me, Part 1"

I have a sign over my head that apparently strobes "Use Me" in 72 point font. Its the only logical answer I have for the number of times I get chosen.

Of course I know that isn't it... its the inability to say no, and others willingness to take advantage of it.

When I was 14, I met a man that was 19 that I fell hard for. He wasn't a saint, he was looking for a younger piece of ass with his friends the night I met him. My friends and I looked every bit of 16 or 17... but I was lucky; he was a good, kind man and while we kissed and I fell head over heels, that's as far as it went physically. I've mentioned him by initial "C" before, and I'll call him Charlie.

I was very lucky for his friendship. My crush was safe in his hands, and while I am certain I made his life difficult as I wanted him very much, he was restrained and didn't take advantage of me. Not having a father ever around, I used Charlie to test limits and push boundaries, and while he was clearly aroused when I tormented him, he quickly shut me down. Despite my pain from the rejection at the time, this is a relationship and series of interactions that was good for me, and I learned from. As time went on, we continued to have a friendship, and I am the richer for it.

His friends were another matter... as they were on an underage pussy patrol, they were all too eager to take advantage of my availability... I was a foolish girl, and blinded by my crush, met with his friends without him. One of them waited for me outside of junior high, telling me he wanted to talk to me about "C", and he would take me home. I jumped in his truck, and off we went... about 2 miles out into nowhere country, while he put his hands all over me and tried to force himself on me. The word NO didn't work... but something did... because right before forcing himself on me, he just stopped. He was on top of me, one hand in my bra and another under my skirt trying to force down my panties. I remember his face in mine, the disgusting breath and his gross lips and tongue as I turned my head away from his. But he stopped, he got off of me, started the truck up and dumped me by the side of the road. I walked home, and didn't tell anyone about it for years. I was embarrassed and ashamed, felt as if I brought it on myself.

Another of his friends asked me out on a date. We went for a movie and ice cream, and afterward parked behind an abandoned building while forcing me to give him head in exchange for a ride home. He was my first oral sex. I told him I didn't want to, didn't know how, wasn't comfortable, but it didn't fly, and afterward he dropped me in front of my house. I didn't tell anyone about the way this went down, as I knew it would be he said/she said, and I felt such a fool.