"Use me" footnotes

What I didn't realize at the time was that Charlie was talking... about me in some way. Either he was spreading lies that he got some, or they were playing competitive pop the virgin. Or maybe, possibly, he actually liked me and was taking shit for it. (Even as I type that last one I don't believe it, my hate for myself runs so deep).

I only realize this now, which is why I stepped away from the story for a respite. I realized when I typed the lines... I wasn't safe. I was a young girl, swept away by an older guy who at worst let his friends have at me and in the best circumstance I was an object to be manipulated and used for his amusement. Was I the joke? But he kept reappearing. I missed him, wanted to talk to him, and I think he sensed I was broken. When I would drift away or get down, he would show up with a gold bracelet or something, out of nowhere. I'll never forget that day... months of no word, and one day he came over and gave me a 14k gold chain bracelet, thin and delicate... My mother looked at it and said "You know that means nothing, right? So-and-so's Jewelry is giving those away free for signing up for credit!"

That was the day my mother scored her first triple crit combo, but that's a body count for another day.