Self worth and sleep

Is your entire self worth predicated on what others think or feel of you? Mine is. I hate that about myself. And I dislike even more that I recognize it but seem to be able to do nothing about it.

I'm very capable, and its been proven over and over, yet I still require the approval of others, even in my professional setting. I've started over from complete scratch, leaving all I knew behind, and yet I still have these nagging doubts, that I am useless, or only as good as what someone thinks of me. I don't trust myself.

I haven't slept... I'm worried sick about this trip, and if I'm safe... I've been physically ill over it. Add that to the very real pressure I am taking at home, and being ready to talk openly about change with hubby but have an external hurdle that has to be tackled first.

I'm so tired I can't even keep my eyes open... because I let ad man get the better of me, take ahold and flip it, and he was in there all along, the predator I sought through this cycle I repeat. He's completely off the mark with his assessment, but the nasty reared his ugly head, thus confirming all the things I feel about myself.