Panic

I have to make a trip. I am falling apart, and I must take this trip, I can't figure out a way to cancel. It is work, has nothing to do with him, but will put me in dangerous proximity... if he so much as sees me or hears the real me is in town, it will trigger. if he hears my voice, he will know. But its not just the city, its event coverage, and fear is washing over me, for the first time in my life I feel claustrophobic. Not for the first time, I am feeling exposed and terrified.