Orgasms and guilt

#Catfish killed my sex drive. Literally the one and only orgasm I have had since seeing that movie was one based on memories of my own personal child abuse. How fucked up is that?

And this week, its back, because "ad man" is back. The one person in this world that makes me horny, has put fresh new ideas in my head. Just when I thought we had covered it all in 5 years, he's unearthed startlingly new sexy ideas... There's yet another email, and I feel like I'm being grabbed by the throat...

I can't respond... and I can't even masturbate, that will simply make the problem worse...