A blessing

I'm turning a corner, I can feel it. I spent years locking away my thoughts and feelings or going to therapy, thinking I was making progress... and to some degree I was, but as much as I adore my therapist, I can never trust anyone fully... I wasn't quite ready to tackle some of these issues eye to eye. Even my cyber fraud, my Catfish game, when I revealed this to my therapist, I wore my sunglasses and cried through the entire session.

And I tried the blog once before too.. it didn't help... it all felt indulgent and piteous, so I abandoned it... and at my lowest point in my life, when I was planning to check out, I saw a movie that struck a chord so deep inside me that it facilitated the exchange that saved my life. Thank you, you know who you are.

And I remembered this blog... and I came back to it, not exactly sure what I was going to do with it, continue my story? Delete it? And somewhere in there, I began spilling... things started to come out of me that I needed to ponder, let go of, or simply say out loud. While I had realized I wasn't alone, I also decided, what if I was? If empty headed drug addled celebs can spend their time tweeting and blogging about fashion, music, and navel gazing, then why shouldn't I use this medium to try and purge and heal? A place where I share it all, examine it all, and reflect. If others read it and contribute or feel not so alone, cool. If not, I finally feel as if it doesn't matter, because its helping me.