I spent most of my time when not teasing or relieving him, telling him how sexy he was, how athletic and strong, talented and smart.. he was very good at his job, and i told him how much his success turned me on... i meant every word, and he could hear it in my voice... i knew that by being honest about my feelings, i could have a piece of him, if only a tiny piece.
The pushing for video and weekend or same city hookup made me Google him, and when I did, I found the listing that mentioned his wife. This was my out, and I calculated it. But I hurt. That was unexpected... despite the fact i knew there was a possibility he was married and had lied, i felt punched in the gut, wind knocked out of me, couldn't breathe. i texted him and asked for a phone call, one which he deftly avoided as it was mid-day and the best he could do was messenger.
When confronted, he was completely unapologetic for all of the lies... how ironic that i cared, when i was the biggest phony of all. But he had revealed a few things to me, in what seemed like confidence... that he could lie to me so smoothly about being married again and again when i was so clear about it being important... i was stabbed by the coldness and neatness of it all, the execution. But my intention was to end it, and i did... told him he stepped on my heart, that i couldn't breathe or think, and that was that... or so i thought.
But i couldn't let it lie. Because he had turned it on me... he showed himself to be trickier and more ruthless than i, treated me as disposable. My little world i had created had bitten me, and it was then i decided to make him at the very least apologize, although i think "pay for the sins of the others before him" is a more honest view as i look back. i told myself this man was fair game for targeting now that he's a cheater. The actual game was just beginning, and i had no idea how far down the rabbit hole i would eventually fall...
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