webcams and orgasms

the first chat was in the morning... it was terrifying and exhilarating, i was sure i would be caught somehow... i was unfamilar with the messenger at the time, and didn't know how to turn on message archiving to capture the conversation, something i rectified for our next exchange. but this time, the first, it was all so new and i was terrified, just trying to keep up with the conversation, hardly believing i was actually talking to him... and then came the webcam invite... he had a webcam hooked up and invited me to see his smiling face, and i froze like a deer in the headlights. i wanted to see him desperately despite the terror, and after a minute or two i forced my shaking hand to except the invite. instantly his gorgeous face popped into view, and the panic shot through my body, as if he could see me. there he was, in shorts and no shirt, a delicious yummy man toy in the flesh. some conversation and teasing, and soon he was sharing his phone number to call him so we could play... when the number flashed across the screen a second and third time, i was frozen with fear... what excuse could i give for not calling? i thought about it, would he recognize my voice? would he see the caller id and know who i was? what do i do, the thought of mutual pleasure almost overwhelming my senses, i played safe and opted to go for a partial truth, i was too scared.

i was still lucky enough to share in his moment of pleasure, a visual i will never forget... everything i thought i knew about this man turned out to be true physically, he had an incredible body and a huge cock, a thing of beauty. i was incredibly turned on myself but the fear overwhelmed everything else, and my hands shook so badly from what i had just done and seen i was unable to even consider orgasm at the time... all i knew was that i had to find a way, to be ready next time, to be able to mutually enjoy the experience and participate on the phone...

chat and games

after a couple days of email i got up the nerve to chat... his emails over the first few days had lit me on fire, and i had discovered something i never would have guessed... we were extremely sexually compatible. our needs and desires so complemented the other's that i started to panic. reading his thoughts and words made it hard for me to breathe, made my head spin... i quickly discovered that this delicious creature was commanding and used to being in control, and often turned the tables on me, leaving me unable to think or speak. every time i believed i was on top of the game, he would turn my world upside down by doing or saying something to knock my feet out from under me. i was terrified, because i knew i was playing a game, a dangerous and wrong game... but i was sad too, because it was clear that if this had been real, it would be the most signficant and fufilling experience of my life. i spent my life searching for a man that could challenge me like this... now i find him under false pretenses, and there is no going back.

intermission.....

now is a good time for a reminder... i believed ad man might be married. while i hadn't had opportunity to meet his wife and he never wore a ring, and in fact he had never shared her name nor had she been present at any social event we were together for, he had referenced his wife a few times in conversations with me and my husband. was this simply a "i'm just like you" strategy, or was there a beautiful woman hiding behind this man somewhere? given my newly heated interactions with him, i was desperately hoping for no wife...

flames...

sending the pics with details of what i intended to do to every inch of his body ignited ad man... he was checking his email a few times daily, swapping pictures and stories with me, and i was walking around feeling as if my every nerve were on fire... he wanted more... more pics, more information, and a plan. i continued searching for pictures that would pass, girls that had the same body type, and when he wanted revealing photos, i begged off telling him that my family would kill me if something like that leaked "again". my story was mediocre, but was enough to buy me some time, he couldn't argue yet with my need to trust him.

all of this occurred over three days. by the fourth day, he was crawling the walls, inviting me to join him for a webcam. i explained i didn't have one, but he graciously invited me to see his smiling face. i thought about this... many webcam chat programs connect pcs peer to peer, revealing ip addresses (and therefore location) if you know where to look. but he had no reason yet to doubt me or my intentions, so i risked it.

birth of the alter

i found her... she was a small active blonde; adorable, long hair, great job and an active social life... she was beautiful, but not in a classic high maintenance sense... she was a guys girl, a girl who looked gorgeous in a dress and heels, but tossed her hair up to play soccer and go running several times a week. i borrowed a few of her photos, careful not to use any information that would mirror her life, combined them with the details of the persona i had created for my alter, and a plan was hatched. not a very good one, but i was desperate......

images

realizing i wouldn't get far without a pic or two, and being driven by my lust, i scoured social networks for someone that fit the description i had just given him. at this point, i simply wanted to spend a few minutes flirting, inject some sex into my life, but i had another concern... getting caught... rejection wasn't the driving fear, it was recognition...

the emails

ad man was curious, flattered by my forwardness and lust... he asked about me, details of what i had in mind for a date, location information and hinted for pictures. as prepared as i thought i was, i shook with adrenaline and fear when i read his email. the flirting and thoughts of a hookup overwhelmed my senses, and i emailed him back, suggesting we switch to our personal email accounts with the lure of much steamier conversation... then i sat back and pondered... what would be the harm of sending him a picture or two of someone else?

when I last left you...

i was dreaming blissfully of ad man... a day or two went by and i checked my email on the new account, and there was a response! my heart lept into my throat, i knew this man gets a ton of email, and i truly believed mine would be ignored or flagged at spam and never get through. not so, the response was waiting in my mailbox... in fact there were two emails from him.