it started with a basketball game, my husband falling asleep in front of the tv airing said game, and a glass of wine. somewhere in there was some pent up anger, smoldering ember of rage and pity for myself, my life not being all i wanted it to... i saw what i wanted more than anything, and reached out to grab it. but i was too insecure and scared to do it as myself, he would never want a girl like me... he was perfect, a god... i'm an insecure klutz... a 30something woman with a sex drive kicking in for the first time, wracked with such guilt about it that the only time i let it shine was when i had a few drinks or got high...

my husband in front of the tv, me on a second glass of wine, and a fantasy set in... if i had a nite with him... and i fired off the first email. it was flirty, fun, very solicitious. after the email, i left my husband sleeping in the den, grabbed my vibrator, and enjoyed the evening dreaming of how i would ride him.

and it didn't take long before the seasons changed and our lives took us in different directions. our social lives veered apart, and i no longer had access to his joy, charisma, beauty, musk... but he ignited a sexual revolution within me, just being around this man had awakened this desire the magnitude i didn't know i was capable of. i was crazy horny and could think of nothing other than him...

so i did what any insane married woman would do... after many months of longing, i emailed him. of course i made up a name, a life for the beautiful girl i would become... she was from another state and was familiar with his work. he of course didn't know her, but as predicted, he was flattered enough by my very honest descriptions of what i wanted to do with him to be curious...

our story returns after a brief interlude...

ad man was gorgeous... he was a delicious creature, his body perfection, with the face of a chiseled greek god. he was funny, uncommonly charming, perfection in every way. he was successful and driven, and he was the only thing on my radar. he captivated my attention, and i wanted him in every way.

commercial break...

wow i am so mellow right now... i am a completely horny puma too! is there a real man out there, one that enjoys pulling my hair and tossing me around?

the hunt...

so the ad man was in and out of our lives briefly, and i had a few opportunities to observe him... i saw the wolf in those otherwise innocent eyes when they wandered a room of lovelies... it was so primal, like he would eat them whole... this was it, this animal lust that opened my eyes wide and made me want to lick his entire body... so i continued to observe...

more Beauty

getting back to my story, the 19 year old beauty became more a part of the family and spent a lot of time with us. she seemed to test the waters now and then with my husband, but i was never sure if she was testing him in that dysfunctional "girl keeps trying to recreate patterns in which she was a victim and all men are scum" way, or if she was testing me to see how i would react. and if my reaction was in question, what would i do? what should i do? i hadn't thought it out... you see, i was working out years of frustration and anger in my own self-centered and destructive manner. it was during this time i contacted ad man...

craiglist

recently posted an ad on craigslist... casual hookup, NSA... it was specific in tone and fantasy, I know what I like and need... and the 20 responses weren't even close.

it was mostly an experiment, but the ad is real... if someone came close to what i'm looking for fantasywise i would be in heaven....

We interrupt this program...

changing subjects briefly to talk about this amazing hash... its got me very relaxed, starting to feel aroused and playful...