personalities......

I feel like when I smoke, I let her out. Another part of me... the one I've hidden so well its as if I have another personality... is that what they mean by MPD? Is it the trauma and fear that made me hide her so long, when i finally let her out, she's overwhelmed, and prone to make mistakes others would consider "crazy" or a nervous breakdown, or a pre?-mid-life crisis? If I nurture her under another name, how long before she becomes a "persona"? Now a third, no letting go of the second... the third is still a sketch, seems to be the protector of the one who came out strong but crumbled and got weak in the knees over him.

Am I exercising something here? Flexing a muscle I didn't know I had? Discovering myself?
Or exorcising?

Everyone has some piece of the puzzle, no one holds all the pieces. There are pieces my husband holds, which make a significant number, but he misses key pieces. I spread those amongst my friends, each getting one, so no one knows the real me. Sometimes to keep people from knowing the real me, I have to fuzzy the pieces.