quiet nite

husband asleep... i surf the internet to keep the 'him' off my mind... i want to pull up the old email and read them again... i want to hear his voice, talk to him. i'm a little buzzed, but not enough... sadly not horny... thinking of looking for some porn, but i'll either end up fantasizing about him or some dirty little secret fantasy i have, both will leave me guilty... a feeling i have no room for.