Craving

its 11:15 pm and i've smoked a little more... lying in bed alone while he watches tv. i stay busy try not to think of him... following the same pattern he broke into a few months back, when he started a new website and formed a sports team... how much to keep the distractions at bay? this is the first nite of the rest of my life... without any contact from him... wonder how much bourbon, pot and self pleasure it will take to keep my sanity.