Scars are souvenirs you never lose, the past is never far

Sunday, December 23, 2012

MULTITUDES OF BLACK AND BLUE [BDSM]

These events took place in Atlanta in 1993/94 when I was 23 years old blonde traveling executive assistant

An hour off the plane and barely checked into my hotel, I found the meeting in an underground Atlanta nightlife newspaper, advertising BDSM support group/live play. I had a long day, hours in airports and flights, and several Jack and Cokes to take the edge off. Trouble is, whiskey made me very horny and far too brave.

I arrived a few minutes late through the back door of a two story flat. As I entered, everyone's eyes in the room shot to me. "What is your name?" demanded the host, and I mumbled my answer. He grabbed my hair and dragged me in front of the small group of attendees. Into my ear he breathed "Again, lovely, what is your name?" Stunned by the game I found myself a part of, more clearly I said "Katie" He asked why I was there while his hand twisted through my hair, his breath on my throat while my heart pounded. I fumbled for words.

"Speak up child", he instructed. My cheeks weren't the only thing throbbing as I felt my labia respond and begin to moisten.

I looked into his eyes, my cheeks flushed, and mustered all my strength. "I want... I need--" I dropped my eyes and faltered, searching the room.

"What is it you desire?" His tone dangerous, mocking... Looking around for help I saw four men and two women, one of the women in a skimpy string bikini and sitting on the floor beside her partner's chair with her eyes cast down. A few were mildly interested in the proceedings, and one of the men who appeared to be alone watched me with wolf eyes.

Naively I said "To play, to submit, to give over my will to another for an unimaginable ride."

He leaned in and forced me to my knees facing him, and sighed. "Be careful what you wish for, young one." He stepped over to the cabinet and pulled out a rubber collar. "Is this what you want?" holding the terrifying object in front of me. One of his hands stroked my cheek. My head swimming, things moving much faster than I anticipated, I whispered a barely audible "yes". In a flash the collar was fastened around my neck. I moaned... it wasn't supposed to happen like this, it was a meeting, I would simply attend and feel things out. "Will you relinquish your control and ownership of yourself and all you are and own to me?" he asked as he wrapped his hand in my hair and turned my head for our eyes to meet. "Yes... I want that...so very much" I heard my own voice utter, struggling past the lump in my throat. My nipples and pussy were throbbing, all the nerves in my body were screaming YES as he stared into my eyes and hardened his gaze. I was young and invincible, pretty hot at the time with a good body and believed the best in everyone. "You will call me Sir or Master, do you understand? You will do anything I ask, and belong to me now." I heard the snap of the leash, and the another clink. It was a lock. this was more than my mind could handle, I started to float away to that place where I want to touch myself. A sharp yank to my collar made me realize I was doing just that. "Not now, child, I have other plans for you" grunted the host... this man who now held me collared. I felt his hands on my breasts, groping them. He was tugging my collar down as he climbed on top of me, shredding my dress and cutting off my panties. He rolled a nipple around his thumb and forefinger and I felt an almost orgasmic shock to my clit. "Unnggh" I moaned, rolling around under him on the floor thrusting my hips and wanting more. He stood up abruptly and turned away from me, addressing the group. "She will be downstairs in room 3. As always we remind you that if you damage or kill a slave it will be taken out of your deposit, and ask that you take great care with the slaves to leave no permanent scarring. Other than that, just enjoy yourself."

TO BE CONTINUED

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Some flies are just too awesome for the wall.
-- Abed, Community

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Wake and bake

Woke up to at 5 today to my alarm going off blaring in the other room... dashed out to keep my husband from waking. On return I find I have bled the bed. So now I'm up, after shower might as well blaze up. Feelin' chill now.... happy 420 and good morning to you!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Cranberry Pecan Spice cannabis cookies

This recipe is simply a holiday spin on the "cake mix" cookie recipe, but no one will be able to tell. :-)

Cranberry Pecan Spice holiday cookies
Heat oven to 350

One box of Duncan Hines spice cake mix
1/2 cup of pecans
1/2 cup Craisins
1/2 cup cannabis butter if so inclined
2 eggs
1 shot of rum

Combine dry cake mix and pecans. Add melted butter and 2 eggs and form soft dough. Add craisins and mix well. There will be tiny cake batter lumps, that's normal.

Drop teaspoonfuls on cookie sheet, and bake for 8 to 10 minutes
Cool a couple of minutes to firm before transferring to wire rack

Curl up with friends with these in front of the fire...

Happy #420!

Friday, November 11, 2011

Devils Food Chronic cookies

Heat toaster oven to 350

One box of Duncan Hines Devil's food cake mix
1/2 cup of pot butter, gently melted
2 eggs

Mix all whopping three ingredients until well mixed; I simply form a dough, mixing it enough to get a lot of the smaller lumps out, but don't beat smooth

Drop teaspoonfuls on cookie sheet, and bake for 8 to 10 minutes.
Cool one minute before transferring to wire rack or plate :-)

Serve warm with whole milk, yumm!!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Time zooms by

I've lost several people in my life to death since my last post... children born... life continues, marching, almost running by... as more people lose jobs, more of our money goes overseas to foreign lenders to pay credit debt on shitty, dangerous products imported from China in the first place... I'm working... working to keep busy, working to keep from losing my mind... I focus on the zombies around me, the destructive forces at work, fighting them back, the voices and fear I've created, the voice of my mother, and my inner critic, who long ago grew more rotten and gnarled, mutated and repulsive... a seether I long ago lost control of which will destroy me, but not today. Today valium, chronic and tears get me through.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Time passes

I'm so down... things are hectic, and they are tragic... the good ones dropping like flies, the righteous just loitering...

I'm not whole... I have holes I can't begin to understand, some filled in with stuffing, artificial hope, superficial desire...

What will it take to fill it? No pill I've ever tried... or coke or pot... the only thing that ever came close? Mushrooms....

But even that, it doesn't fill my desire, it fuels it. Last time I did mushrooms I wanted a train, so much cock... I had a hunger, a thirst.

I've thought of him constantly now, but I remain focused on other matters... new projects.

and i don't cry... not even for the dead.

but i'm so unbelievably sad.